Quest for the Cup: Round I

Greetings Friends,

After a wild first round we’re now down to the Elite 8! But first let’s review how the round of 16 fared.


Let down by his home town heros and 1st overall pick, (Cap’s) Josh endured a bumpy first round. Ovi and the boy’s were no match for their former coach who drove the Islanders to 4 gutsy, but decisive wins in just 5 games. Who saw that coming? Heads may roll in Washington after that blunder. Fortunately for the VA gentleman, Crosby’s summer training partner, Nathan McKinnon (Col) came to play! After a minor set back in game 3, the Av’s proceeded to step on Arizona in games 4 and 5 with back to back 7 goal victories, sending the desert dogs back to the golf course early. 

The Bear Cave 22

Don’t wake a sleeping bear. Despite going 0-3 in the qualifiers, Pooh confidently rode her B’s to a commanding 4-1 series against Rod-the-Bod Brind’amour and the ‘Canes. She also sparked a great effort in the young guns out of Vancouver who shocked the world by eliminating the defending world champion St. Louis Blues in 6 games. If it wasn’t for the injury to Calgary’s Brady Tketchuck she might have run the table in round one. She’ll have to settle for 22 points. Not bad for a southern bear. 

Relish the Moment (Pickle Pun) 24

After 3 consecutive years of squandering his first overall pick to inevitably finish dead last, Nick seems to have thrived with a middling draft position in 2020, further supporting the fact that too many options and decision fatigue are poisonous for this young cucumber. That said, this year’s 3rd drafter dominated round one by accumulating a perfect 24 points with no OT games. The combination of stellar goaltending in Vegas, veteran leadership in Dallas, and the shut down play of NY (that other NY team) has Pickle looking unbeatable walking into round two. 

Bob the Builder – Can he fix it?! 14

In a gracious effort by the league commissioner to occupy the fourth pick (worst overall odds by Vegas standards), Bert struggled in Round I. Troubles began on night one, game one when Columbus goaltender, Jonas Korpisalo’s, superhuman effort across 8 periods of hockey (and setting an NHL record for most saves in a playoff game) was ultimately cut short with a loss in the 5th OT. The Jacket’s never recovered. Then, Arizona proceeded to give up so many goals that the goal judge bulb burned out. Who let this peewee team on the ice? It looked like these guys were drinking beers at TPC Scottsdale for 5 months. I never thought I’d say this, but thank god for Philly. My last hope is in the hands of Gritty. Is it time for football season yet…? 

Jim the GM 16

Dad likes to posture as though he leads with his heart – picking Tampa (NY’s southern affiliate), and Columbus (coached by the boisterous John Torterella). But I believe he was playing a numbers game to ensure he advanced at least 1 team into Round II. I say that because there’s no other explanation for picking 2 teams playing each other in the first round when you have 8+ options. To his credit, he successfully advanced a team into the second round after Tampa closed the door on Torts and the boys. This was critical as the defending champion Blues (Dad’s first overall pick) seemed to have no one home between the pipes and were no match for the young legs in Vancouver. 

El Tajon (The Badger) 15

After back to back league victories, Moo appears to have let the success go to her head. In an act of pure hubris she drafted the last ranked team (8) in both conferences, in subsequent picks (she had two picks in a row due to the snake draft). Talk about cojones. Alas, that audacity would prove to be fatal as both Chicago (8) and Montreal (8) would combine for only six points. Fortunately, with her final pick the blonde bandit selected the Canucks who defied the odds and have managed to keep her dreams of a Threepete alive. 

That’s all for Round I. Looking forward to watching more hockey in my flipflops. 



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